Three Points

I’m fat.  I know it, I accept it, I’m trying to change it.   I don’t let it define me and I don’t obsess over it.  I spent years trying to reach some ideal weight, but the fact of the matter is, I will never be a size 6.   Even if I had a personal chef who made all my meals, and a personal trainer who worked out with me 4 hours a day, I’d never get to size 6.  (Ok, maybe I would, but since a personal chef and/or trainer are not in my budget, I can safely say I’ll never get there.)  Genetics plays a huge factor.  I’m 5’0″ on a good day.  I have child-bearing hips.  I’m short, I’m curvy, and nothing’s changing there.

But this isn’t about me.  This is about my daughter.  My daughter who is not fat.  My daughter who is not headed down that road because I do my best to ensure that she eats healthfully and exercises as much as possible.  Apparently, according to the school and the MA Dept of Health (DOH), my best is not enough.

A healthy BMI is considered to be between 5 and 85 percent.  My daughter’s?  88%.

Those three extra percentage points warrant a four page letter home from the school and an admonition to contact the pediatrician to discuss the findings.

Are you kidding me?

I know the nurse is only doing her job to stay within the DOH reporting guidelines and mandates for follow-up.  I get that.  I don’t fault her for doing her job.   I know they’re trying to reach the parents who may not be aware/may not care about how healthfully their children are eating. I get all that.

But sending home a four-page letter with links and tips/tricks for getting the kids to eat better and exercise more is tantamount to waving a red flag in the child’s face, screaming “fatty, fatty, two by four!”   Really, the letter could be summed up this way – the school nurse says you’re fat and you need to go to the doctor.  There’s something wrong with you.

I have no plans to share the letter with Cheeks’ pediatrician.  If the pediatrician had any concerns about Cheeks’ BMI, she would have brought it up at her last appointment.  I’m not going to make an unnecessary visit to the office just to have the pediatrician say, “she’s tracking where she should be, given her history – don’t worry about it.”  (Which is exactly what the pediatrician said 3 months ago at the last appointment.)

I am certainly not going to share the letter with Cheeks. I can only imagine the conversation we’d have if I told her we were going to the doctor to discuss her weight.  She’s 9 – she doesn’t need to start obsessing over her weight at this age, or -hopefully – ever!   For heaven’s sake, we’re trying to prevent eating disorders in our children, not give them a head start on developing one.

The MA DOH wants the kids to get 60 minutes of exercise a day.  The MA Dept. of Education wants the kids to pass ridiculous standardized tests.  The schools are all about the tests.  The homework load is ridiculous.  You tell me where I’m supposed to fit 60 minutes of exercise in while Cheeks is doing 60+ minutes of homework each night on top of the extracurricular activities that she enjoys and make her a well-balanced child.   Plus she’s supposed to be getting 10 hours of a sleep a night?  Just how many hours do you think there are in a day, DOE and DOH?

Here’s an idea – if you want the kids to exercise more, give them back recess at school.  Make gym class mandatory.  Introduce intra-mural programs for all kids, not just the ones who can afford to sign up with the rec department.  Make exercise a part of the school day.  Forget the stupid standardized tests that aren’t teaching our kids anything, except 12 different ways to arrive at the same damn answer or how to beat a standardized test.  Develop better school lunches – lunches that aren’t 75% carbohydrates and 80% sodium.

In other words, get on the same damn page.  A page that doesn’t make me want to shred it as soon as it arrives in my mailbox.